Hellmouth

back of the Church San Francisco De Asisi Church, a famous church in Ranchos de Taos another shot at the church somewhere btwn ranchos de taos and dixon, nm At one point in my life, I was a pretty good photographer, and wanted to be a professional photographer.   So, its a sort of odd situation to find myself in one of the most visually spectacular areas in the country or even world, with no good camera, and for totally different reasons than making art.  I think of the southwest as the photographic equivalent of a "target rich environment". Anyway, I've decided to post photos I took on my shitty phone, when I feel up to it, anyway.  Because I don't know when or if I'll be better and up to doing much real art... These photos dont do their subjects/objects justice, but they're something Between Ranchos De Taos and Dixon, NM (part of the Taos area) An "Earthship", on the Taos Mesa (west of d

"Years ago my heart was set/to live, oh/but I've been trying hard/against unbelievable odds"--Big Star, Ballad of El Goodo I shouldn’t be writing this essay. I shouldn’t be doing anything but resting. But things as they are are untenable. And sometimes I write because I literally think if I get my story out into the world, I might find a savior. These days, everything I write (and it doesn’t amount to much) is a literal cry for help. Why have you forsaken me? And by you, I guess I mean the world. I guess I mean anyone who might listen. In the summer of 2016, I was working outside for a small tree nursery business, really just a two-man operation, in central vermont. (I’m native to Northeastern Vermont, but our work took us all over the state). I was young, fit, full of anxieties, ambition, big plans. I wanted to be an artist and a musician, professionally, yes, but also just as a vocation. I wanted to do whatever it takes to “make it”. I just

"Idiopathic, from the Latin for 'idiot'". --Gregory House, MD I take issue with the idea of labelling mast   cell   activation  that occurs in response to environmental toxicity that very well may be a burden, to differing degrees, to all people , a "disorder" or implying that the  mast   cell   activation  is a pathology rather than a possibly protective response to toxic burden The idea that mcas explains all environmental toxicity symptoms is one I resist because I think a) we have not even really begun to scientifically explore this illness and the possible immunological aspects , in terms of volume and depth of published research and b)  mast   cell   activation  is only *part* of the general innate immune system response to toxins. There are many direct and indirect ways pollution or toxins could damage the body. Inflammation is mediated not only by  mast  cells but also by macrophages , glial cells, and more. If idiopathic "MCAS" is assum